My experiences have left such a profound impact on my life, that I no longer fear death or disease as opposed to the hypochondriac I used to be

It was in the December of ’04 that my life would take an unexpected turn into the realms of my unknown past. I had read a popular book by Dr.Brain Weiss – Only Love is Real., as a filler between my healthy diet of Ludlum (Robert Ludlum – One of the greatest Spy Novelist) books. This book provoked a sense of deep curiosity and excitement unlike any book I had read earlier. What drew me to the subject of Past Life Regression was the fact that the author was a noted and highly qualified psychiatrist from an ivy league and the extra-ordinary experiences recorded in his book.

I immediately wrote to him asking for any reference here in India that could help me explore my own past lives. To my amazement, his reply was prompt with a reference to Dr.Newton Kondaveti in Hyderabad.

Appointment with Dr.Newton was quickly fixed and before I could turn skeptic again, I was on a flight to Hyderabad. I arrived at Life Reasearch Academy, brimming with curiosity and a keen sense of anxiety. That I used to be a strongly scientific person and would shrug away at the mention of spirituality or Godmen took the backseat. What I did have was an open mind but the skeptic soldier was crouching within striking distance to pounce on any anomaly.

Dr.Newton was reassuring indeed, what with the various doubts and fears I tried clarifying with him before we commenced the session. He somehow made me feel calm and I had the feeling I was in safe hands.

Before the session started, we had a little chat, on my background, about recurring dreams, nightmares or any chronic illnesses. I shall try to recount as precisely as I can, the transcript of our dialogue.

I was part of the senior management of a large apparel export company in Chennai and the job was indeed demanding, not to mention the stress that comes with it.

However, I did not have any major issues with it save a few rough moments which are part of every corporate person’s life these days.

So we moved to something more substantial, like a recurring dream or a nightmare. As a child, I was extremely fascinated by airplanes and as way back as my 5th grade, I was readying to become a fighter pilot. Strangely however, around the same time, I used to be inexplicably petrified of the sound from a turbo-prop plane (like a Douglas DC-6) and would run for cover when I heard them in the sky. I was too proud being the oldest among the 3rd generation in the family, to share this morbid fear with anyone, especially my younger cousins. I had repeated nightmares of such a plane crashing into my building while still looking up in horror.

We decided to explore into the probable cause of this recurring dream. While Dr.Newton expertly guided me into a deep relaxed state of mind, I was quite clueless of what might unfold in this session, but like I said before, I kept an open mind.

In my trance, I was lifted to the sky and through a clearing from the clouds, saw my first glimpse of a passenger plane. The craft carried the insignia of KLM and I even remembered the flight call sign, the port of call, the year and the number of passengers in the plane. I was the captain. I was large built, of Scandinavian origin, bearded and in the mid or late forties. My destination was Munich, Germany, in the year 1951 with 52 passengers on board including crew. I was tense as the weather was inclement, and visibility rather poor. I seemed calm but below the surface was a war raging with fear and the controls appeared to be waning. The bad weather hindered the radio frequencies and my sense of direction was rapidly deteriorating. My plane was cluelessly hovering over storm-raging Munich with the visibility turning next to zero. While I desperately tried to steer the craft to safety, what I saw next shattered any remaining hope. I was headed straight onto what seemed like a high rise apartment building and worse, my plane’s landing lights focused on the face of a young boy (10-11 years old) staring straight into the horror that was coming at him. My last feelings were that of helplessness and the guilt of killing that innocent child. His eyes were the last I saw before mine closed. Somehow, my guilt over killing that boy overrode that of the passengers aboard, probably because the boy was an added victim, last in the sequence of events.

I remember trembling with beads of sweat over my forehead in that air-conditioned room, which was rather cold. I palpitated with a sense of unnatural anguish over witnessing the events from my regression, but at the same time, feeling a lot relieved over what I couldn’t quite comprehend.

My head was in a tizzy when I fully recovered from the trance and the skeptic soldier was firing away at supposedly rampant anomalies, screaming it was all but a figment of my creative imagination. Dr.Newton was, on the other hand, pleased with the details I had dug out and seemed a lot more convinced about my recall much to my dismay. He later told me how intensely I had relived the scene, with my eyes roving under the lids, body turning cold and arms trembling. He must have sensed my lack of belief in what I saw, for he casually asked me to check the details, if I could.

I thanked him and left in a hurry to the next available internet kiosk and settled down for a frantic search with whatever details I recalled.

After almost a couple of hours, skimming down many crash details, I fished out from the official KLM website, a piece of information that will change my life forever. There it was, the year, 1951, KLM passenger craft with 52 aboard crashed into an apartment building in Munich due to stormy weather. It was a DC-6 aircraft with the propeller fans outside of the cowling, which emits the exact same sound I was petrified of. The last vision of the boy in the building, was transferred into this life time with the memory still chasing and the fear still fresh. Yet, the clincher was the guilt I died of, which manifested as a debilitating disease of the eye, called Glaucoma, because of which I could never become a pilot in this life time. I was 11 years old when I was diagnosed of this disease.

The three days of personal session Dr.Newton and I had, and the many verifiable details of some more past lives visited, gave an impetus to delve more into my own spiritual identity. Ludlum was pushed to make way for more extra-ordinary writers with magnificently researched and documented findings that would any day beat a spy thriller in terms of sheer excitement.

I know I have come a long way in the last 3 years, gathering soulful wisdom through books and meditation, and more importantly, having found the purpose of this life. My experiences with Dr.Newton has left a profound impact in my life, that I no longer fear death or disease as opposed to the hypochondriac I used to be. I no longer have right wing religious views that I used to have, that I no longer believe in violence, war, hatred and intolerance, in the name of religion, color, creed, caste or nationality. I have seen lives lived as a Muslim, Christian and now a Hindu and this, significantly blurred the dividing line of religion as it did with the many races and the distinctions thereof.

I have metamorphosed from that aggressive corporate guy, to someone who is patient, caring and away from the rat race. I engage the universe when I need something and have come to understand that the holiest temple I ever visited was my own body and the greatest God is me, just like everyone else.

All this learning from an unassuming man who dispenses information in painfully short but appropriate doses and who believes in me more than I probably ever will, who has shown me the power of dreams and the will to succeed. I have never believed in Godmen nor Gurus but I certainly respect those that leave us to learn our lessons in our own way, and chose to be simply a beacon of light to guide us through whichever path we choose, to reach the light. Dr.Newton to me, is one such light that I will use until I realize my own luminescence to help others. This is how I will thank the Master.


Susheel Nair

Sourcing Head, Bangalore